the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
