I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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