I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
