Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
