Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
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I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
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He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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