so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
