found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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