It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I party with great urgency now.
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