why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
