i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
