your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
