What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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