I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
