So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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