Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
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Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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