he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
