Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Duck Duck Cougar?

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(713): View more from Texas

i cant believe jose lima did steroids

(281): View more from Texas

apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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(503): View more from Oregon

do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?

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(678): View more from Georgia

better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole

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(804): View more from Virginia

I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

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(818): View more from California

apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

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(585): View more from New York

I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP

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(248): View more from Michigan

How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?

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