And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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