Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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