i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
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I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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