So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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