Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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