ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Randomize
