Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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