Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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