It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
