So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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