Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My dick has a subreddit
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
