We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
