I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
