If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
