Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
