I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
