Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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