Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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