stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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