is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When are your genitals available?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
