East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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