My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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