I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
