Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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