just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
