I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
