You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
