i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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