i can't believe i had my finger in that
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize