Jerry, you need to find god
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
