no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How naked do you want me to be?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
