Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
