I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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