google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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