margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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