Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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