We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
