I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
