I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
