I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
