how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
