She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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