I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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