physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
