Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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