I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
