Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
