If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
