Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
